Twitter, twitter how wonderful is thy concept behind it. I had to start by the praise coz you have to agree twitter is addictive as a write this I'm on my 1453 tweet yet thats small compared to what other tweeps from my country have I've managed a 4 tweets average since I registered my account but only started tweeting about a month ago so you can guess thats a lot of tweets right? Wrong those ain't a lot of tweets I'm average. The damage lies not in the number of tweets I have made but in the number I have read and researched on I'm guessing this is a pretty significant number. I started out on fb reading everybody's status updates and going through their profiles friends profiles etc in a sort of stalker/obsessive fashion this went well even when I hit the 200+ friends mark I still managed to catch up with each and every one of them rigorously BTW. But then came twitter things changed I was introduced to the world of blogs ppl share almost anything on their blogs and guess what happened my facebook habits crept into twitter but twitter is open therefor leaving me spoiled for choice and worst of all I'm now a student not like I was just a few months ago with nothing but time and money to burn on phone credit - yes all this with a phone non3g FYI + no Fm DEAD. Ok as I was saying I've completely lost it and all I can do is hope that I don't suffer the same fate that I've seen people go through in high school due to excessive phone use. Lord have mercy on my grades. Simply trying to work things out.

My Burning Rose

I touched the stars
and realized
I've been living a lie,
I've for long lied to my heart
though my eyes would see
my soul was ever deaf
but my ears heard it all
and have bitterly come to know
I don't love you.

I shut my eyes and slowly heard you righ
under your gown
with tears on your chick and a smile not a frown
thats where I say it all
the life that was a lie
was to come back and haunt me.

Let me go,
let me forget about you so,
let everyday we admired the sky blue
and started at the silver full moon
be a roller-coater in a world of de ja vu
I don't love you
this I know

like a rose
fallen into the river,
my love for you flowed away
The candle of our love
blew off as it fell from the slab

Your name that I once wrote in my heart
is now blown by the wind,
and the bright stars we admired
are long vanished in the thin air.

Please forgive me for breaking a heart that held so much love
even if I were to love you
It wouldn't be true,
Goodbye my love Cupid has our special arrows held for that special someone
Fare well. My love.

@by Mwas

Student Life

Just started out on colle the other day and I have to admit I didn't start off well. Not that there were any hassles it's just that I was already trying too hard, get it? Let me explain; if it's your first day and you find your self awake at 4am to catch the first train as if you are about to seat of a paper and it's only orientation, chances are that you are trying too hard. At this rate I'll end up being the guy who has so much psyche goes nowhere.

As a student life shouldn't be so one sided that you have to loose sleep over things that will end up not benefiting you in future. Time to work smart not hard I final understand that and tomorrow I'm taking it easy.

Blogs - My Vantage

I have been going through tons of blogs lately and so far I KNOW that they are out to replace traditional paper print material as if that isn't already obvious that electronic media is quickly out pacing our old means of pen and paper methods.. But something struck me as weird… social media has also proved to be of wide reach; of course we all remember the Mark Zuckerberg fiasco called facebook and how he intends to make the whole web social well they can but that's not new as we all know (I hope) AT&T already came up with twitter (or at least something like it) it's just that they had other things in mind on how to make use of customer money (sms) so their idea didn't come of as feasible..

So blogs as I've found then tend to be more social than we would like to admit for example on my blog you can see the follow button which unto now I have seen to be nothing more than your (the readers) bookmark and my social ladder.. #justsaying

So it comes to wonder would blogs and information and ideas would only be judged by their social value… "Hey my buddy reads that blog then why not… *insert recommendation*" also would that content association be more to a peace the masses or gain more comments or sense of approval rather than to inform or improve or even like the traditional way of thought “Make money!” Maybe I'm just being paranoid but evolution of blogs is worth noting and so far I know I'm close enough to spot the changes as they occur.

Godsent confusion?

Yes exactly what I went God sent. I know in the bible which I have being brought up with the devil brings confusion well what happens when God allows the devil to bring confusion into your life to test you maybe teach you a lesson then isn't the confusion God sent? Well not exactly but you know what I mean. Ok I happen to have a knack for getting confused during some crucial moment but in the end God always intervenes (hopefully if I didn't fulfill my emo thoughts ha ha) well just when I have like now I just hold take a breath and let it go coz all my troubles are really in my head.

Masomo

I'm finding it very hard to study now and hell if a force myself. I have one principle - If it ain't there it ain't. Trying hard not to stress myself coz in the end it doesn't really matter how much I read or how much I hit the books, right? In high school I met the weirdest people. Some read all night some well probably didn't read as much. In exams the former would pass - mostly. I was probably stressing too much shouldn't have now with my addiction and other social isht I don't know how I would manage. So now I'm left to watch others chopping hard while I stare at my books and think WTF is this. BTW Savvy got 30/30 on her CAT wonder how I would fare in mine - #mentor, talk about it later. May I not panic and stress over nothing thats my biggest enemy, anxiety.

Emo Thoughts

How do I know I'm safe from my greatest enemy. He already struck once how do I know it wouldn't happen again. I can't control my thoughts any more, not even my emotions. How do I fight this monster before it wins and others lose.

Dear girl I like

OK I'd like to know what do you want from me?

#NowPlaying Adam Lambert - What do you want from me

Why do you stick around? Why do keep answering my calls why do you call back and what the hell do we talk about for hours?! Would you stick by me even when I have my moments of doubt would you stick by me even if you found out we are from different worlds would you tell your friends about me, defend my name is they started hating. What if I wasn't as classy as you'd like would I be the out cast in your life?

#NowPlaying Bullet For My Valentine - All the things I hate

What if I broke your heart would you cry :'( or would you keep it inside and hate me forever? If someone broke my heart would you fix me? Would you give me my first kiss?

#NowPlaying Secondhand serenade - I was born to tell you

If I told you I loved you would you say the same?
If I asked you out on a date would you come with me? If I said I wanted to keep my distance would you let me?
Girl I like I like you do you like me?

Dear My Parents

Hi mum hi dad there're some questions I've been meaning to ask you. For one am I adopted although you say I look like dad no way and did either of you drop me on my head when I was a baby and if so who? Did I disappoint you as a child not walk faster than you'd hoped or did I learn to talk late suckled for too long (hey just asking), did I repeat nursery or was it as long as I remember it. In preunit did we have to go through preunit 1 & 2 or was that my imagination. Dad what did you really think when you got my results, be honest I don't buy that "this are good grades" crap #justsaying. And dad do you ever believe I would amount to anything in life or am I the lost cause last born? Want to ask more but later.

TheOpLs

First day? Well learn to Shut up!

Today I learned a very important lesson to do with life. Not that it's new to me but it seems experience is the best teacher. OK here it is today I went to colle thinking that was the first day of reporting all psyched up and all. Then I met two girls. Yes how lucky could I get right ;)? Girl 1 is more out going and social while girl 2 is more closed less out going and more timid than girl 1. We have a nice chat with both girls and I'm happy I'm doing the same course as girl 1. Girl 2 tends to keep to herself during our chatter with girl 1. Finally since there was no use being idle we decided to head back to our respective homes . On our way to catch a mat(matatu) girl 1 gets to meet a pal she was waiting waiting for and they hit it off. We both knew that it would be best to let girl 1 and the new boy talk so we both hang back as we let them lead the way. Not wanting to seem odd I break the ice and start a conversation with girl 2. We continue and that's when she said something that clearly showed what she thought of me. She put it into one simple word, talkative. Ouch! Well off course there was the slight pause in the conversation as I began to contemplate what the hell I did wrong. That was the first time anyone has ever said that to me I'm usually the geeky guy who tries not to turn into a nerd. Then it hit me she was right, I was talking to much! The truth especially from the fairer sex isn't taken to well by most men so we walked the rest of the trip in awkward silence. OK she did try to continue the small talk but the damage was done. After seeing her off and a very disconnected handshake we parted ways. I still kept thinking about this then I realized if it's the first day you meet someone try not to talk or disclose to much they may end up thinking you're shallow. Lesson learned now when I report for my first day I'm sure I'll be glad Girl 2 made me learn this very important lesson.

Back to class

Well after almost 5 months without pursuing any course of study and probably doing very little in terms of academics I'm finally going back to school. Well it's different now not to the same high school but college where I'll spend 3 years of my life. As I write this I got only one day to go. I spent the whole night tweeting and surfing but still woke up early on Sunday morning, yes it's that bad #anxious. Well I have no idea of whats ahead of me so the best I can do now is just to read Chiira's and Savvy's blogs to get the abstract if there's any. Hope my head will grasp all this academic things. BTW I plan to ACE my first exam madly the rest I'll continue writing as time goes by.

Drinking

Confessions I have never taken alcohol for leisure in my life. Never got wasted never done any form of drug abuse *except the emo time ;)* still a virgin (TMI right) but I find myself wondering is that really my undoing. I'm known to be the most tensed guy and anxious would getting plastered help my nervous side. There many guys who drink and there's no problem with there life and even some of my mentors do that I ask myself is not being able the drink a flaw in my character? Could it be why I'm some times so messed up.

#NowPlaying Jamie Foxx - Blame It on the Alcohol

My friends drink and its hard that I cant join them and so far I'm still young and if my Internet addiction is anything to go by if I start I wont stop so for now keeping away.

And to those who say never say never just watch me!

Emo Thoughts

How do I know I'm safe from my greatest enemy. He already struck once how do I know it wouldn't happen again. I can't control my thoughts any more, not even my emotions. How do I fight this monster before it wins and others lose.

Madaraka day blues

My big weakness is that I want to know too much. Following people almost in a stalker fashion though I deny being one. Mostly on the net. I use the net as a keyhole into people lives - again I am not a stalker. Mostly trying to make sense of my life by relative comparison sort of like GPS triangulation system but I find the path I trend has very few if any people before me. Unique maybe but with it comes a certain sense of loneliness and paranoia. Yes I have a mentor but we can hardly relate. I straggle to find the match that may make this path more meaning full but failed in despair. None can relate none can give a testimony that would make me say, hey thats me. So I'm left to find the match somewhere in cyberspace - this is no excuse for my IAD - going through like a spider (hence my phrase spidering) crawling seemingly large number of profiles, connections, conversations anything that might make it seem worth the while but all I have come to is a dead end with no paradox or conclusion only wasted attempts of self discovery and self fulfillment that end up draining more than their worth - my life. Still I search.